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Sei beharlich und geduldig, eines Tages wird der Schmerz dir von Nutzen sein!

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>> Die Tränen des Schmerzes weckten mich;

sie netzten mein Gesicht, tröstlich wie kühlendes Wasser.

Ich presste den Kopf in die nassen Kissen und ließ mich auf den salzigen Strom in die Tiefe meiner Trauer gleiten,

in das Vergessen,

das der Schlaf mir bot. <<

(Buch: "Die geliehene Zeit" von Diana Gabaldon)

Alter: 26
 


Mehr über mich...

Als ich noch jung war...:
hab ich mir noch nicht so viele Gedanken machen müssen..

Wenn ich mal groß bin...:
würde ich gerne wieder ein Kind sein!

Ich wünsche mir...:
Utopia

Ich glaube...:
an nichts mehr.

Ich liebe...:
die Vorstellung von einer besseren Welt.

Man erkennt mich an...:
meinem gebrochenem Herzen..



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Painted tears

It’s like I am crying and screaming

In the middle of the stage

But no one is looking at me

Everyone looks around but not at me

Here I am standing in front of you

With painted tears in my eyes

But you don’t tell me …

 

I know, I am not the perfect one

Can’t you see that I do all I can

Obviously my best is not enough

 

It’s like I caught myself bloody

And you watch this show like a horror movie

You would never try to stop me right?

You would never be interested in…

It’s like world war, it’s like death, it’s like black snow

It’s like world war III

 

I know, I am not the perfect one you wish for

Come on, I am not your dream-perfection

You just see the smiling girl, I have never been

Obviously it’s the best, I go away

But I will never be far enough away

 

So I try to tell you I have to go

And you’re just looking at me

With this damn faked painted tears …

1 Kommentar 6.8.10 12:29, kommentieren

Like love

Everybody says

You have to fight for things you want

But how can I fight for something

What I do not have and never had

For something like love

 

I would do everything to win this fight

But there’s no one who I can fight for

But I would like to fight

For something like love

 

My brain is exploding of all this thoughts

I feel invisible now, absently

I feel like dying, like death in life 

They hear me, but I don’t hear them

All around me is like a game

And I’m the player with the lowest energy

This is not strong enough to bring it ‘til the end

And you exactly know that it will die in the next few minutes

It feels like love

 

And I don’t know how I should fight

For something I don’t have

So I wait

I wait so long, ‘til someone come who I can fight for

And till then …

I feel invisible, absently

I feel like dying, like death in life 

They will hear me, but I don’t hear them

All around me will feel like a game

Where I’m the player with the lowest energy

This is not strong enough to bring it ‘til the end

And you exactly know that it will die in the next few minutes

So I wait, deathly

2 Kommentare 6.8.10 12:27, kommentieren

Daugther of Barbie

If that picture is made

With the perfect smile on her face

And later you look at this one

You will see a beautiful girl with her greatest smile

But in her eyes you can see her pain

 

She’s fake of somebody

She doesn’t want to be but has to be

 

Because you wouldn’t love her

If she would be herself

 So she still has to act the perfect daughter of Barbie

 

The hardest part of all is

That no one wants to find out who she really is

It seems that she’s completely broken inside

And no one care at all

Barbie know about her endless pain

So how can you look away

When your daughter is dying next to you?

 

She’s still fake of you and only

Because she cannot bear a little bit more pain

But it’s so extremely hard to maintain you

So tell me

How can you look away

When your daughter is dying next to you?

 

Do you really not see that she’s only acting for you?

You wouldn’t love her, No you wouldn’t love her 

If she would be herself

 So she still has to act the perfect daughter of Barbie

And I’m dying next to you mum …

 

2 Kommentare 6.8.10 12:24, kommentieren

Bad day again

Hey… here is the bad day again

My personal bad day that I know again

People, important people for me

People they can hurt me much

This people do not trust in me

Do not believe in me, that I can win

 

And now they see how much I can

What I am about

Now they see what I am able to do

 

Stupid silly things like

Car driving, school business, tiding up or special things like I am too tickly

That’s only little examples of that what I mean

It finished me inside to know

That my own daddy does not believe and trust me

 

I try to show you every day new of that stuff

Of all that stuff that I can do so well

But you don’t see, you don’t look at me

Please, stay a little time with me

Listen to me and try to understand what you did to me

Things you never did, things you will never do for me

 

But hey wait a little time

Then you will see how much I can

What I am about

You will see what I am able to do

And all I will do, all I will get

It’s of my own business and I don’t have to say “Thank you”

Yeah now look what you made of me

Think about

1 Kommentar 6.8.10 12:23, kommentieren

Sure

I am sure

You are not my type

But something about you

Are so unexpected

Something that I can’t explain

 

At first

Your uncontrollable humor

Second your talent to grab my attention

With your dark brown eyes

And third… your amazing art

This makes me crazy

 

I know that you are not good for me

But I am still trying

To get your attention

Cause’ I wanna be yours

Please let me be your girl

 

At first

Your uncontrollable humor

Second your talent to grab my attention

With your dark brown eyes

And third… your amazing art

This makes me crazy

 

I am sure

You are not my type

But something about you

Make me so crazy

 

At first

Your uncontrollable humor

Second your talent to grab my attention

With your dark brown eyes

And third… your amazing art

This makes me crazy

Your uncontrollable humor

Your talent to grab my attention

With your dark brown eyes

Your amazing art

This makes me crazy

1 Kommentar 6.8.10 12:21, kommentieren